Tribute To My Mama

My mom isn’t the typical mother you usually find at home. For as long as I remember, she was always out. She’s a career woman, you know. We never almost got to see her, either she was always in a hurry in leaving the house for work in the morning or arrives home when we’re all asleep. It didn’t help also that she left our house when she and papa separated. My brothers and I were left with the care of our yayas and eventually, our Tita Judith came to take care of us.

I always envied my friends’ moms. When I was in kindergarten, my teacher would give recognition to the neatest girl and boy in class everyday. I longed to see my name in that blackboard but she never chose me because I didn’t have somebody to fix my hair before I go to school. What I did was, I brought my hairclips and asked our bus mother to do my hair on the school bus on the way. She didn’t choose me that day and I thought because she knew it wasn’t my mom who did my hair. I stopped trying ever since.

She also wasn’t there when I went up the stage to get my yearly certificates. She wasn’t there most of the Parent’s Day at school. She wasn’t there during the grand Jubilee Celebration at high school where I was part of. And she wasn’t there when I received my MVP award for the Catholic Education Association of the Philippines volleyball league. These were only SOME of the instances in my life that she wasn’t there. She would always say that she has appointments that day. She was so busy I guess. She would just give me toys and when I reached my teenage years, would just give me money to spend. I guess this is one of the ways she can make “bawi” for her lack of time. These are also the reason why I always want to spend time at my friends’ homes. I would bask the attention their mothers shower us. While my other teammates have their moms constantly cheering them on during games, I have my boyfriends in the stands. I relied on my friends to go with me to malls and talk to them about my secrets.

But come to think of it and in fairness to her, I know she tried. She left notes in my room and I would read them over and over when I wake up. I would love the smell of her perfume on me after she hugs me. Sometimes, she would drive all the way to my school just to get my letters for her because that’s the only time we could communicate. During the rare free times, she would take us biking at CCP, go shopping or take us out to eat. I savor these moments when we were with her because I wouldn’t know how long we could spend time with each other again. She would lecture, nay, nag me about almost all the lessons in life: how to be strong and never let others take advantage of you, to finish school and not get myself pregnant on the way, how not to give everything when loving someone, how to be punctual and respect other people’s time, how to take good care of my skin, how to breathe properly when I’m palpitating and a lot more.

The weird thing is that though she was always not visible, but I can always feel that she’s there. During my teenage days, when I’m out, there’s this beeper message from her telling me to go home. She established this rule that I can only take phone calls during weekdays at 8:30 to 9pm, after that I have to be asleep already. My boyfriends can never go to our house when she’s not around. And when passion is getting a little bit too far with my boyfriends, believe it or not, I can almost hear her nagging me in the background and with that, I stop myself.
Now that we’re grown ups, I appreciate her more. I became grateful for all the nagging she gave me because it helped me cope up in the real world outside. I also appreciate the time (only this year) when this guy broke my heart. When I woke up after the breakup, I went to her room while she was getting ready for work. I cried my pitiful heart out while she held me. I felt better after that. I knew that no matter how many people would come and go in my life, my mom would always be there and would never leave me. Of course, me, raiding her beauty products in her room also has its benefits. It’s like having a beauty bar where I can try all the products without the guilt of buying any. I appreciate also her bailing me out every time I get caught by police people while driving. She never tells me what she says on the phone to the policeman that lets me off the hook. But still, I’m grateful. And whenever I get hospitalized, she doesn’t stay with me. I have my good friends, and usually my then boyfriend, stay with me. But, whenever I have to checkout of the hospital, she’ll be the one to do that. Siyempre, with nagging like, I should’ve taken care myself more so that she wouldn’t have to leave work just to bring me home. Pissed off, I know, but still, at the end of the day, she’s there to bring me home.

With all these, I could never exchange my mom with anyone else’s. She may not be perfect but that’s who she is. She loves us and I know, no matter what her issues are, she will always be there for me.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms!!!!